Updated: Feb 11, 2019
When 2018 started, my husband and I had several conversations about what was in store for the next year or two: big transitions. We are moving from a logistical role at our Rapid 14 base in Zambia to sector work in Northern Africa. We will be leaving a place that has been my home since 2013. It’s where our first home was and where friends turned into family. But there is joy and expectation for what lies ahead. We will launch into a new country which felt like home the first time I was there, immerse into language learning, and dive deep into relationships with locals. I can hardly wait!
Our conversations started with eager expectation discussing how to finish our time in Zambia with excellence, envisioning our first year in North Africa, and dreaming about ministry and what doors God will open. Meanwhile, lies and insecurities swirled around in my mind, and I doubted God’s goodness. I wrestled with questions like: Are we too hopeful? Are we dreaming too big? Could this really be real? Could God actually be bringing things together that He’s been speaking to us for years?
After weeks of these thoughts plaguing me, I remembered this familiar phrase with a simple truth: God is good all the time, all the time God is good. Good, meaning there is no hint of deceit in him. So yes, this is real. Yes, God is fulfilling every promise. A resounding yes. He delights in us. He delights in you! And you know what? His dreams for us are bigger than our own.
I have decided that God’s goodness is my confession over my life. He is good, His plans for me are good, He loves me, and I can trust Him. That is my anchor. These are not new thoughts for me, but I have taken them up as my weapon. So anything that is not honorable, just, pure, lovely, worthy of praise, or of God (Philippians 4:8), I will fight with God’s goodness. And in situations that I don’t understand or don’t go according to plan, I trust that God is working it all out because He is good. We have a choice whether we choose to let His Word be our center or our emotions be the center. It’s easy to let our experiences define who we think God is. Yet, God is unchanging and circumstances are fleeting. I could choose to let my circumstances lead me into grumbling, just like the Israelites, but then I won’t see my promised land. Or I could choose to trust that God is who He says He is and His promise to work everything out for good will come to pass.
My hope is that I become one who rejoices in God even when everything is crumbling around me. I hope that I am marked because the hope of the Lord dwells within me. I hope people think I’m wild. I’m not completely there yet, but my dreams for what God can do are only getting bigger. The reality of His goodness is only sinking deeper. I’m letting go of myself and my ideas and laying hold of His goodness and declaration over my life.
What’s your confession? What are you proclaiming over your life right now?